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I keep forgetting I have this livejournal, then every few months, something snaps and I find myself coming back here.

In the last few weeks I've taken a look at the people around me and decided it's time to start cutting the fat, with one girl in particular that I will call "Lee."

She's never been a close friend, but a friend I've had for 15 years. I've always known she's a bit snarky, what girl isn't sometimes? But I've come to realization that she is poison.

I started dating a guy in a semi famous band, it just kind of happened. I didn't really tell anyone about it because for one, I NEVER discuss my personal life except with my 2 closest friends, of which she is neither, and secondly because he's in a known band, I'm even more adamant about keeping that part of my life private.

Lee is like a high maintenance plant. She needs constant attention, she has to be the girl with the most cake. If you make 50k a year, she will say she makes 60k, if you say you're dating Mick Jagger, she will say she's dating Paul McCartney, even if none of these things are true. You can NEVER have more than what she has, even if she has to lie about it which she usually does.

In dating this guy, set Lee off. She has no one in her life right now, her and I were not fighting, she needed to vent her frustration over not dating someone who is "more popular" than he is, so in turn he's the only card she can play against me. Apparently she "knows" people who know him, and I better get off my pedestal if I think I'm the only one, blah blah.

Funny that I've been seeing him for a year and in ALL that time she never mentioned all her ties to him before. Strange huh?

I can take someone saying I'm bitchy. I can be at times and we all get irritated with each other at some point, it's natural, but she said some pretty venomous things about me with no other intention than to hurt me.

Why would I want someone in my life like that?

I'm not an angel. I can be selfish and snarky at times. But I would never go out of my way to hurt anyone. If I'm cheated on, I leave. I'm not plotting revenge, if you lie to me, I cut you out of my life. I'm very black and white about those things.

I believe in the law of attraction and that negative thoughts and behavior bring only negative things to your life. It's exhausting to hate someone and I prefer to focus on the things I can change, NOT the things I can't.

She is a 40 year old woman, she will NEVER change. I think because I've known her for so long is why I kept her in my life, but there are people with 15 year old drug habits, does that mean they should continue on that same path too?

I have so many good things happening in my life. I'm about to start a new job next week, I have good friends coming into town, I'm going to NYC for Xmas which always calms my heart. I am healthy, the weather is beautiful, I can see and hear and walk and smell. I give thanks everyday for the simple as well as big things that come into my life.

Lee's negativity is like a whirlpool, when she thinks she's taking a step ahead of someone or on them, she's really just been spinning in circles for 40 years and will continue to spin because she fuels that storm with her hate, her jealousy and negativity.

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Yeah that's what's scary, if she was a big dummy I could let it go, but she's a smart vindictive woman, and at this point in my life, I really just don't need that kind of garbage in my life. I'm 34, she's 40. Shouldn't I have been done with this 20 years ago?

Life is too short and she's not good enough of a friend to keep her in my life. I feel cutting people out is harsh, but it doesn't come from a place of hate, it's really just me not wanting to deal with that nonsense anymore, and my life will not change in any negative way but not having her in it. :)

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