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So far from where we've been..I know we're cool..
So it's the day after...

Dickbag played 2 shows. Overall I'm generally happy. The first night he actually came up to me, gave me a big hug,kiss on the cheek and said he was glad I came to the show..hmmph..

It's a bit melancholy, because he was the sweet person that I first met. He's always been that person but he's just fucked up in the head. And until he's willing to take responsiblity for his actions I really can't get caught up in all that again. Yeah this is all over one email, should I let it go? No, because again, I can't forget words. He didn't say anything devastatingly horrible, but it wasn't pleasant that's for sure. Even though my anger is over that one email, he needs to know it was wrong. But over the last few days I realized sometimes you have to learn to accept people for what they are, the good and the bad. And if you can't well then obviously they shouldn't be in your life, and I don't know that dickbag will ever change. I do know that I do always want him in my life.

He seems to run hot and cold, it's either 100% or 0, there seems to be no inbetween with him. I do want us to be friends because he's a great guy and I want things to be copasetic since we have mutual friends, but as I said before. I can't even begin to forgive him till he apologizes but he's one of those people who just won't. I don't think he knows how to say "i'm sorry". Once he hugged me though, alot of my anxiety dropped off and we smiled at each other and it was just kind of a mutual understanding.

He had to drive to his family in San Diego both nights, but his band stayed with me on the first night. I still don't know how that came about but it was fun. Last night they decided to head back to the Bay Area after the show. I would imagine they're comatose right about now..

Overall, I am happy. I am happy that things are somewhat cool between me and dickbag and I wasn't sure that would happen until we faced each other. Who knows what will happen next, but at least I know what I'm dealing with now.


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