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Bah humbug...
I hate the fucking holidays and they're rapidly approaching. I'm hoping they'll go by in a flash. It's almost like knowing that band aid has to come off and you're trying to tear it off as fast as you can. I think I'm more cranky that I won't be in New York for Xmas.

So I do have New Years plans. I'm not really excited about them, it's a house party, I'm going with a friend. Won't really know anyone else there. In all honesty I probably shouldn't admit it, but I'd be happier sitting at a house with dickbag. I know things are pretty bad with his family right now and I just want to be there for him. It's really hard to watch someone you love go through such a hard time, especially when it's something you've been through before. It breaks my heart to know he's going through what I went through. :(

He has a tendency to shut people out, but I'm used to that. One of my best friends is very much like that as well. All I can do is let him know that I'm there for him and just remind him of that every chance I get. Yeah I do still care about him as more than a friend, duh. Yeah I'm retarded. It takes so much for me to like a person and once I do I'm like a barnacle. However my head is in control of the situation now. I know what I'm dealing with now and I'm definitely not an emotional masochist.


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